I'm Smokin my life away but what is it really for?
the satisfaction or the pain?
For the relief or the gain?
I roll the blunt and stare at it.
Should i do it light it up? Spark it?
Should i satisfy my hunger, my addiction?
What am i left without it?
Am i tricking myself to believe that with it?!
I'm invincble, that all my wounds will heal?
That i'll forget what he did?
And What she said?
That im in a better place up high,
floating around until i land on cloud 9.
Or should i look on the brighter side,
The lighter side.
Smoking is my pass time.
That passes time, in my mind.
That triggers the bullets that makes my memories hide.
Hitting tha blunt, until my frown is turned upside down
While I'm stuck smiling like a clown,
smiling to unknown happiness
Satisfying isnt it?
Until you look around in silence,
feeling misguided
So i put tha headphones in and blast tha sound.
Every beat and lyric runs throught tha blunt as i inhale it down
But it isnt enough,
the silence closes in
so i continue to search for my high,
until tha only thing i hear is my heart racing to the spead of sound.
My ear drums pumping to tha same flow as i slowly begin to drown.
I move my lips
To explain
I love this shit i say
Excuse me, What did i juss say
I love this shit. The escape.
The reality change. im happier. Wait no im happy again
Smoking dont hurt me its my friend. My conscious yells
No stop you dont understand nothing Heals, nothing mends
All your doing is feeling the hurt again.
Reliving the memory soberly
Your living your life poorly .my conscious says to me
But not me? Not I
Will give up my high
To much pride
That me? That I! am a coward and choose to hide in my high
To low to rancid to impure
To admit that me. YES I?
Am to ashamed of my insecurites to admit that me yes I.
Am nothing.
But still I roll another blunt and suffocate my pain/my sorrow/my dreams in my high
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