My coming out story is almost typical, was 13 was about to enter 7th grade and it was like almost everybody knew. I didn't like tight clothes, I HATE the color pink, i'd rather play football with the boys then go shopping with the girls. To me I always thought I liked girls. I was afraid to tell my mother because she was and in some ways still is Highly Homophobic. I didn't want to talk with anybody in my school because no one would understand, and I didn't want to walk around with a Staff buddy to prevent me from "acting out" my tendencies. I thought to myself Maybe its a phase like everything else, Maybe this was part of me Growing up. I can still think back to my first Crush Alana. I didn't know why I liked the way her hair would slightly frizz when it got near heat. I didn't understand why when she smiled my heart skipped 1 million beats. But most of all I Didn't understand me.
I grew up always aiming to please the adults around me, and I knew what liking a girl would do to me and my mothers already estranged relationship. All I could do was look at the girls I liked and not say a word when they asked "So who do you have a crush on." It took me about 1 and 1/2 years after meeting Alana , to finally except my "Situation". it was a school field trip to Six flags and every one went. Every Boy Every girl I knew, All in one Crowded but A/C bus. Most kids sat with their friends their boy/girlfriends or by themselves. a girl who had recently came to my school named Diana asked me, "Do you have a boyfriend?" to which every boy laughed and shouted "Hell no Not Ampablo!!!!" My face turned red and I pushed myself harder into the bus window begging and hoping she would look away and leave me alone. BUT she continued "Do you have a girl." I felt as if I was in a movie because the silence was eerie. almost as if the bus Driver also wanted to hear me.
I looked around My bus and seen all the kids eyes on my and embarrassment was all that was on my face as I shook my head no. The girl looked at me calmly said "Why not." The question rang in my head like a bell. The questioned left me stunned, the bus rode in silence. When we all had our fun and it was time to go we piled back into the bus this time sitting beside me is Alana and on the other Diana, and of course the squad of jock monkeys. Alanas head was buried in a book, her hair over shoulder and was watching her secretly. Diana turned to me and said "do you like boys or girls?" Alana looked up as did the rest of the bus again all eyes and ears on me. I shrugged my shoulders. because I honestly didn't know. I knew I liked boys because well... I didn't know at the time I had a crush on ne-yo and sean paul but that could just be "Girl" stuff right? I didn't know I liked girls I just knew I found some so beautiful. All the attention that was on me began to die down before one of the monkeys shouted "Good no boy would've dated you anyway".
Embarrassed I look down and try to ignore the laughter before I hear a boy and a familiar voice saying "I would". I looked up to the Most popular boy in the 8th Grade and Alana standing there. They both Smiled and me and sat close to me and we all talked the whole ride back to boston. it was the first time I felt at peace with myself because I was honest. I didn't know if I liked Girls, I just know I did. I didn't know I liked boys I just knew I did. I feared people would judge because of my preference when in all reality It was me that was truly Judging myself. I gained two Best Friends and a girlfriend....
*Thanks for readin comment your coming out story ... keep reading follow me Email me Idead.. Thanks to my New Prima Emily love you boo for the topic.*
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