My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle (Part 10)

       Everything was going perfect for Chrystelle, Bodies intertwined on the bed,  Her mind went blank as she drifted off into the shadows moving across the ceiling from the cars passing the street. Maybe what I seen today was just stress from work. maybe it was all in my mind. Chrystelle relaxed as Seira pulled her close. All she had to do was close her eyes but why couldnt she sleep.
       Hours seemed to past and Chrystelle was long asleep. She tossed and turned against the sheets. Jumping up from her bed her body drenched in sweat. Thirst clung to her throat tightly. Standing from the bed she slipped into her slippers. The silence of the house not letting a sound break through. The further she wandered through the house the more she felt the eyes. The more she heard the scream. The more she felt the terror.
      As she entered her bathroom she thought to herself. "Lets not be the blonde in the movie". She turned on her sink and drank from it. Staring at the mirror she laughed at herself. "And you dont try it" she said to her reflection. Turning towards the door she avoided the bathtub. She thought "fuck that" and returned to her bed. Climbing under the covers she looked as seira face to make sure she wasnt.... Different. Shaking off the fear she said relax to herself and rolled over.
    She closed her eyes before something told her to open them. Avoiding the feeling she tried to sleep. But the feeling began to overwhelm her. Opening her eyes to reassure herself. The black figure from the bathroom stared back into her eyes. "What THE FUCK" chrystelle yelled in fustrastion causing seiras to wake up. "Whats wrong?" turning towards her chrystelle looked back where the figure was. "Really" she thought to herself. Pissed she looked back at Seira and said "nothing".
   Rolling over they both fell asleep in silence. Both of them just cant shaking the feeling that someone, or something was in there with them.

My Story Haunting Chrystelle (PART 9 )

      When Chrystelle got home Seira stared at Her with fire in her eyes.  She calmed as soon as she seen the worry in Chrystelle's face. "What's wrong baby?" she said instantly. "Nothing baby just something at work."  Chrystelle grabbed her pajama shorts and tank top and kissed her. She had a long day and wanted to be away from Stress.
      "Baby.... Somethings following you" Seira Sad, As she stopped the Kiss, Chrystelle looked at her already knowing what her girl can do. "No baby Ashmiel is helping..." Seira cut her off before she could finish.  "Ashmiel? ASHMIEL? FUCK THAT NIGGA!" Seira had Chrystelle pinned to the wall face to face with her. "But baby I didn't want you to worry." Chrystelle softly said looking down at her feet barely forming a whisper.
       Seria calmed down and understood, "Ok baby i'm sorry but let ME help too. Besides you know i'm stronger then him,"  Chrystelle laughed at what she said, " Alright baby i'm getting in the shower are you coming?" Chrystelle was thinking about earlier and remembering taking a shower but she still had to take one,, besides her girl would've known something was up if she didn't. Seira nodded and grabbed her basketball shorts and beater, Stepping into the bathroom they undress.
      "What's wrong baby?" Seira said Looking Chrystelle over instantly biting her lips. Chrystelle shook her head and smiled, "I'm fine big daddy" she said with a wink. Seria pushed Chrystelle into the bathtubs built in seat.  Getting onto her knees She looked into Chrystelle's eyes, "Spread em" She said as she gave her a look of hunger.  Chrystelle loved moments like this has she spread her legs wide..
      After a long day of man handling people all day, She loved being man handled.  Seira had a fat wide tongue that was one size to big and double jointed.  Seira Kissed Chrystelle's clit softly before blowing on it as the hot water fell over Chrystelle.  Seira spread her legs as if she was about to have a feast. She lapped circles around her clit making her legs shake.  Chrystelle moaned and jerked her hips against her tongue holding her head.  Chrystelle grinded her hips faster as Seira's licked with more passion.
      God she thought as she looked down at Seira to watch her lips working to make her cum, Chrystelle leaned her head back, her body jerking as she felt herself beginning to cum. "Baby i'm cumming." Chrystelle grunted as Seira went work her fingers diving into Chrystelle pussy touching sots no man can.  Seira began sucking on her clit causing her to drip down Seira's Chin. "Damn baby" Chrystelle moaned out as she jerked against the wall.

My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle: Part 8 BACK TO ENGLISH

[if you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{if you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}
(if you haven't read part three here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part.html)
*If you haven't read part four here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-hauntng-of-chrystelle-part-4.html*
[If you haven't read part 5 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-5.html]

{If you haven't read part 6 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-6.html}

(If you havent read part 7 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-7.html)


              Ashmiel Got up and looked at her, He fucked up hard but these where different besides how can he compete with her.. with her Girlfriend he said silently to himself.  Chrystelle shook softly as the climax still ran through her, her mind wandering to Seria.  She was probably waiting for her to get home. Chrystelle loved Ashmiel but he should've just told her, She shook the thought from her head before it could come. "So do you want more or are you done?" She looked at Ashmiel who seemed to be in his own world.
   "Huh yeah i can finish" He said jumping back into action He slide in between her legs.  He forced himself inside.  He thought back to that night, all his boys clowned him. *How you the first nigga to get a lesbian to date you and FUCK UP AAAHAHAHAhhaha* there laughter faded in the distance has he began to move to the sound of music coming from her body, He enjoyed all the sneaky moments he had with her, She was beautiful and everyday he wish he could get her back. Chrystelle spread her legs and let him in His heavy breathing and pounding against was nothing new as she found pleasure in this forbidden act.
    She let out one scream of pleasure as she began to cum throwing her hips against his, to fill the intensity of the orgasm. Ashmiel leaned over her and pulled out cumming against the bed sheets. rolling over to throw himself on his back.  Chrystelle got up her legs still weak, heading to bathroom to wash herself and change. Walking back out into the room Ashmiel eyes where on her. "What?" she said looking at him a smile on her face. "Nothing your beautiful". He responded.  Chrystelle blushed deeply before heading towards the door, Ashmiel followed behind still naked.  When she neared the door she turned to him.
     "Thank you again" She said near a whisper her mind jumping back to the thought of the image and it being near her. Ashmiel looked at her, concern all over his face. "I'm going to help you. Im going to keep looking im going to help you Chrys." Chrystelle smiled at his words and turned towards the door. "Thank you Ash you don't know how much you helped me this far." She blew him one last kiss before heading to her car. Looking back she can still see him watching her.  Shaking her head she look forward to the arguement about to start. Looking at the time Chrystelle knew she was in trouble.  Chrystelle waved one last time before peeling off the curb.....

Mi Hstoria: La Embrujar De Chrystelle: Parte DOS

          Chrystelle quedó mirando la carta, asustado para abrirlo. El mundo alrededor de su congelado solo tiene ella estaba con los ojos en blanco en señal de frustración. Sus dedos temblaban sobre los bordes de la página, ya que las preguntas todavía vagan en la cabeza, las preguntas que no se atreve a decir. Su rostro se convirtió en horror mientras leía junto con pobre chica en lo que parecía el ser sus últimas palabras en esta tierra. El corazón de Chrystelle salió a ella con ganas de más y más de las respuestas, pero que no tiene idea de por dónde conseguirlos.
     

`Me estoy volviendo loco sé que, las imágenes. Estos sentimientos desconocidos y no deseados Se trata de conseguir más fuerte. Me duele en el interior y no sé por qué. Tengo miedo, pero nadie quiere escuchar. Ellos piensan que estoy mintiendo .. Cada día en mi sueño me despierto a esta cosa cada vez más cerca. ¿Qué quiere de mí ??? Por qué no puede dejarme en paz. Si alguien lee esto por favor todos los que me ayude`

                                            

                                                Isabela Gonzalez

   Chrystelle releyó la carta antes de fin de entregárselo a los forenses para ser procesados y analizados. Inundaciones Miedo a través Chrystelle, piel de gallina causó su cabello se eleve. Su cuerpo le dijo que correr, pero los latidos de su corazón le dijo que dar la vuelta. Chrystelle colocó cuidadosamente el papel en el fregadero. Tomar pequeños pasos como el miedo y la anticipación aumentado a través de su miraba al espejo y miró a la esquina del baño. Chrystelle se enojó cuando se dio cuenta el espejo fue grabado con el propósito de bloquear las esquinas de la habitación. Chrystelle rand su dedo a través de la tapa y la arrancó. Sus ojos se estrecharon en en la esquina de la habitación de nuevo y el corazón de Chrystelle detuvieron.

    La figura oscura con una sonrisa que envió escalofríos por todo su cuerpo. Lamento resuelto cuando comenzó a señalar y reírse de ella. ¿Por qué se molestó en venir hoy? La criatura cambió su cuerpo en un movimiento inquietante, las sacudidas de su cuerpo y las articulaciones era mundana y espeluznante. Vio en el espejo como la figura oscura se puso detrás de ella y se inclinó hacia delante, mirando profundamente a los ojos. La cifra en voz baja susurró "Porque sus almas siguiente." Como desesperación pasó por la mente la figura Chrystelles oscuro gritó mientras ella se tapó los oídos. La cifra se desvaneció junto con su felicidad. Necesitaba ayuda para resolver este crimen, pero ¿cómo le dices a tu equipo que esta chica fue asesinada por algo ya muerto, con su capitán a cabo llamando el mejor equipo en ella.

        ¿Quién va a ayudar?

        ¿Quién va a escuchar?

        Y ¿Quién le cree?

..............continuará

Mi Historia: La Embrujar De Chrystelle Parte uno FOR THE SPANISH READERS

Hola chicos, así que sé que he estado haciendo el vago en los blogs últimamente, pero las cosas han sido bastante accidentada. muchas cosas han cambiado en muchas buenas maneras en las malas. pero yo quería saber de mis lectores lo que sientes por el blog y sobre la forma en que escribo .. Estaba pensando en publicar una historia corta pero parece que nadie está interesado .. así que a partir de ahora hago esta completamente párrafo inútil para Presentar la historia de mi corto.

(Las imágenes son sólo referencias a lo que me gustaría que usted sea imaginando lo que algunos)

           Su imaginación se vuelve loca, Esto no puede estar pasando ella piensa a sí misma. Tiempo empuja más allá de ella su consumo, Como el tic-tac se desvanece en el fondo casi ralentizar a los golpes en los oídos de pánico. Ella mira al hombre enmascarado, con los brazos se aprietan en su cuello mientras le clava en el fondo de la bañera. Apenas sumergido ella luchaba contra su fuerza, ella pensó para sí misma lo que está mal con este hombre. El agua comenzó a llenar la bañera más ligero que cubre su rostro. Ella extendió la mano y lo desenmascaró en los últimos segundos de su vida. Sus ojos se extendió con horror, Su grito solamente enviando agua en sus pulmones. Por qué me está pasando esto? Ella pensó en esos momentos finales. La última burbuja de aire se escapa como ella se desliza dolorosos de distancia.
   Pasan las horas y el apartamento a la pobre chica vagaba, fue ahora rodeados por la policía. Los hombres y la mujer en la fuerza afirman que fue un suicidio, pero la Sra Chrystelle sabía que tenía que haber más. Ella entró en el apartamento de lo que parecía ser un hogar feliz. Caminando a través de sus ojos miró al cuarto de baño, el fantasma de la niña mirando de nuevo en sus ojos. Su pelo Negro mojado y goteando como si acaba de salir de la ducha. Sus ojos muestran el terror y el miedo. La chica miró a su cuerpo la espalda en Chrystelle ante la mirada fija en la esquina del cuarto de baño. Su expresión solo causó chrystelle para dar la vuelta. Sólo para ver una figura en negro mirando derecho hacia ella. Reacción le hizo acabar con su arma de fuego. Pero mientras miraba ya no se encuentra la cosa.
     Jadeando y saltando hacia atrás mientras miraba a la cara de la chica, escalofríos helados corrían por la espalda. algo no estaba bien. La confusión se instaló como la chica señaló directamente hacia ella, con salida nocturna mover un músculo Chrystelle oyó un grito que podría despertar al diablo. Goosebumps acribillaron su cuerpo con poco o ningún esfuerzo cuando se dio cuenta que venía de profundidad dentro de la chica. Sus ojos se declararon la niña para salvar su alma, pero sus lágrimas dijeron Chrystelle para funcionar. Pero los muertos no pueden matar a los vivos. Pueden Ellos?
    Los médicos levantaron el cuerpo del agua, Chyrstelle observa mientras se enfrentan a las niñas todavía goteaba de horror puro. No eran los ojos de un suicidio, los médicos le cubren con una manta, pero permiten a la gente una mirada más en el cuerpo muerto. Chrystelle echa un vistazo al cuarto de baño, el agua en el suelo lo que sugiere una lucha. Volviendo a agarrar los guantes, Chrystelle se acerca a la papelera de baño basura para ver si encontraba algo nuevo o diferente que podría ayudar a la causa. Enterrado profundamente en la basura que encontró la carta de las niñas.
     ...............Continuará

My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle (Part 7)

[if you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{if you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}
(if you haven't read part three here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part.html)
*If you haven't read part four here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-hauntng-of-chrystelle-part-4.html*
[If you haven't read part 5 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-5.html]

{If you haven't read part 6 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-6.html}

                Ashmiel Looked at her and bite his lip, He watched her slowly undress and whisper "I should've never fucked up." Her body was different now bigger in the right places, She still had a coca cola bottle shape just the sight of her made his mouth water.  He was going to find a way to help her he was sure of it, but then again this ain't Hollywood.  Chrystelle took a deep breathe the last time she saw him naked her was laying there in between the legs of her "Best Friend", But she knew she still loved him,  As he climbed onto the bed his eyes looking right into hers, Her heart pounded but in away that relaxed her She was nervous like a girl who was about to have her first time, But why she was used to this..... right?

     Ashmiel ran his fingers over her skin slowly, Running over her neck down her chest and in between her thighs.  He ran his fingers over her pussy lips sightly just to tease her, Chrystelle shuddered slightly to his touch.  Ashmiel smiled tonight he was going to take his time to remember her that no matter how far she goes. She'll always be his. He softly kissed her lips as their tongues intertwined.  She wanted more of him but she resisted.  He moved to her neck sending his tongue to do tiny flicks against her skin. Chrystelle moaned and pushed her neck to his lips and she loved it He lips let out the softest of moans. 

      Ashmiel moved further down kissing on her chest carefully almost has if was trying not to miss a spot. Has leaned over her Chrystelle opened her legs wider allowing him to rest comfortably in between. He Grabbed each breast in one hand and suckled on each nipple, the sensation alone teasing Chrystelle clit with the memory of his tongue.  Ashmiel moved further down until he was at her belly button.  He licked her belly button as the tip of his fingers teased her clit getting her prepared for what's about to come next as he could feel her juices already seeping from her like the finest of wines and the sweetest of juices.

      He took one look at her sweet face, her innocence drove him insane and her smile pushed him over the edge. why did her ever fuck it up he thought to himself before leaning down in between her legs taking in her aroma.  Her hands automatically went for his hair, But his eyes caught hers and he shook his head no.  She placed her hands behind her head and tried to keep still as his tongue began to swim circles around her clit she forced her hips up to receive each flick.  His chin was already glistening with her juices.  

      Chrystelle let out a sharp scream of ecstasy as she came in his mouth and he swallowed everything she had to give him, before.......

(TO BE CONTINUED.) 

        

My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle (Part 6)

[if you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{if you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}
(if you haven't read part three here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part.html)
*If you haven't read part four here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-hauntng-of-chrystelle-part-4.html*

[If you haven't read part 5 here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-5.html]

         Chrystelle turned to face the creature only to see Ashmiel standing in front of her, Her jaw dropped, how was that possible, It took seconds for Chrystelle to realize they haven't even entered the tent. "Are you ok Chrys??" he asked her, Genuine concern on his face. She nodded yes still confused just wondering how.  When the finally entered the tent which she hoped t was the finally time it was set up different.  Ashmiel Sat on his beanbag chair on his laptop and started to google, Typical men.  She looked all over the tent, it had its own bed a perfect spot to look up at the stars and moon.  The smoke pit and of course the munchies.

       Ashmiel wouldn't even had been there to help Chrystelle if it wasn't for her i mean she is the one who kept him out of jail wasn't she?  Ashmiel watched her from the top of his laptop, Focusing on her as if she was an experiment in a test tub.  Chrystelle couldn't take it anymore as time literally ticked away before her.  Walking over to him she started him straight into the eyes, "What?" she said slightly blushing. "Have i told you, your beautiful?" She blushed and shook her head No. "Not since the last time i seen you." He responded and said " Well your beautiful." She looked at him a pain in her heart has if he was trying to say goodbye.

        "Ashmiel?" She said trying to catch his eye, What's going on. His accent dug deep into his words as he looked her in the eyes, almost begging her not to make him say it.  He smiled one last time before it faded away to emptiness "Jumbi a come." He said.  The room Shook in with her almost as if to shudder his name.  But how is that possible.. she swore she was a good little girl.  She smiled feeling have crazy did this nigga say JUMBI el cuco?  She felt her world fold against itself have if god took her life by his mighty fist and tore her apart himself.  She was protected wasn't she? At least she thought.

      Ashmel stood up one more time Half naked and glistening while watched her.. "Well since i can't help you past this point might as well help you with what you really came for." He knelt before her and prayed blessing her and her future, He asked god to shine his light on her and to guide her, even if it on her way home.  He smiled at her one last time his eyes hypnotizing her "So you ready for me or you about to go home?" His words came to her from the distance as she relaxed into his bed. "Idk should we?" ... She questioned herself and thoughts, she questioned her vulnerability. Ashmiel continued to smile and whispered i think we should.)

(TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT PART INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.) 

My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle (part 5)

[if you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{if you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}
(if you haven't read part three here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part.html)
*If you haven't read part four here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-hauntng-of-chrystelle-part-4.html*

      Chrystelle let out a scream that made Ashmiel jump back as he stood watching by the door, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"  He sad to her slightly confused.  She looked at where she was, standing in front of his house, Her bag in her hand keys in the other.  Chrystelle was confused but she was already here wasn't she?  "We need to go to the tent NOW" she said pushing him aside.  Ashmiel followed behind her silently. They entered the tent and it all began again, But this time she said she would rather be on the floor in the circle.  Once again he started the fire and threw wood into it to brighten its flame.  Chrystelle was prepared She held on to Ashmiel that way he could protect her, he had no idea from what.
      Has he prepared the session and finished, He stopped to admire her but seen the fear in her eyes. "I'm not going to let you go..... I promise." Chrystelle was sure he was reassuring Himself. The smoke filled the room again.  Chrystelle once again relaxed as the smoke went through her and filled her lungs elevating her.  She felt Ashmiel relax at her side which soothed her, she laid there for a moment relaxed in his arms, The green whipped through the fire towards her as if to grab her which made her awake in reality.  She could feel Ashmiel go limp besides her, She turned to look at him as the figure stood in his, Chrystelle jumped back in terror as the creature lunged at her gripping her hair in a ball around its fist fury and vengeance on it's mind but from what.
    Chrystelle heard Ashmiel scream, She looked around to find his voice but by that time it was to late.  The creature held on to Ashmiel high into the air, Ashmiels beautiful golden green eyes melted into purple.  Ashmiel looked down at Chrystelle, He remembered the first time they meet back in high school, He thinks of their first kiss and their last, As he took one last look at the one who got away he felt the urge to cry and held it back.  It was to late to make up all his mistakes, it was to late to tell her i'm sorry. Chrystelle reached up for him, screaming out her lungs begging for the thing to put him down, as it tormented her with its laugh.
    Ashmiel looked into Chrystelles beautiful eyes one last time, barely managing a smile, He looked at her one last time and realized it was too late to say he loved her...
   Within seconds to purple within Ashmiels eyes illuminated the room, Chrystelle closed her eyes and let out as scream.  She is never going to see Ashmiel she was sure of it. The Figure let out a scream that made Chrystelle cringe.  As the purple light faded away, Chrystelle searched for Ashmiel, Taking a step further into the room she searched. " Ashmiel??" before she could say his name again, She felt the creatures hand on her shoulder.....
(To Be Continued)

My Story: Hauntng of Chrystelle (part 4)

[if you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{If you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}
(if you haven't read part Three here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part.html)

   Chrystelle laughed as he attempted to pounce on her, she swiftly moved away causing him to land face first into the bed.  Giggling she watched him turn to face her.  "What was that for?"  He smiled back at her.  "Not today i need your help" she responded.  His smile quickly faded as he stared at her. "I'm seeing them again " she said continuing on.  He stopped her and stared into her eyes.  "I know" he said.  She looked at him confused "but how?"  He paused and slowly said "because he came with you".
     Goosebumps rose on her neck, she heard the figure laugh and froze in fear.  Why is he following me how did he get here?  Ashmiel whispered something before getting up.  "Alright let's head to the boom boom room" he smiled nodding at her, as if to reassure her.  They headed to the back off the house exiting into the backyard, The tent was already up as if he was waiting for her.  When they entered, the bright purples and blues made her relax.  She sat on the bed and watched him carefully as he threw wood into the cock pit.  Lighting a couple matches he lit the wood, creating a fire Chrystelle as never seen before.  The Blue fire wiped around with a bright pink tint.  It was as if the fire was searching for something.
     He reached over and dug into her bag for the weed she had brought, throwing that into the fire he pulled out more weed and some sage.  He carefully blessed the room with the sage letting it burn outside of the tent as if the guard the door.  They circled around the fire as the smells Filled the room.  The aroma alone causing Chrystelle to choke as if she was a newbie.  Each choke drifting her further and further into her relaxed state.  "Chrystelle?" Ashmiel whispered to her.  Chrystelle was in the back of her mind already.  Comfort and relaxation took over her as her mind went to places she has never been, Beauty was in every corner and every shadow of this tent as she began to giggle to herself.  "Chrystelle!!!" He shouted snapping her out of it. "We MUST begin."
    She stared at him aggravation still on her face but with full understanding. She nodded her head has he stared back into her eyes.  He quickly set up the rest of the table before returning to look at Chrystelle, worry and concern on his face.  "What?" she said self conscious blushing.  He looked down before returning to meet her gaze before smiling and saying, " Nothing are you sure this is what you want?" She looked at him slightly confused because moments ago he was wishing to push the session faster. "Why what's wrong?" She said.
     Time seem to freeze as she felt the cold hands wrap around her from behind.  Horror flood her face and fear made her panic and struggle. This isn't like the movies she says to herself.  She reached over to Ashmiel Who seemed to concerned about the session, then to what's going on around them.  "Ashmiel!!!" She yells, He is sitting right in front of her but continues to work non stop. "Ashmiel!!!" she screams one more time her voice pleading and begging for him to hear her.  She struggled to reach out and touch him bring his attention to her but it was to late.  Chrystelle felt herself being lifted into the air and tossed like a rag doll across the tent.  Chrystelle let out one last scream before closing her eyes.  Everything was lost but at least she got high one last time..... Right???

(To be continued.)

My Story: Haunting of Chrystelle (Part Three)

[If you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html]
{If you haven't read part two here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/my-story-haunting-of-chrystelle-part-two.html}

      Chrystelle's heart zoomed in ways that would've labeled her dead.  Her body begged for her to run to move but she held still.  What just happened? Why is this all happening to her?  "Chrystelle... Officer Chrystelle are you ok?"  The embodied voice seemed to get louder as it snapped her back into submission.  "Yes yes i'm fine." She turned and walked out of room moving faster then she hoped too.  Her heart pounding and sweat embedded on her forehead, Nausea forced her to lean over on the side of her cruiser.  God whats going on in that mother fucking house.  She looked up at the pale grey house, the windows seemed to stare right back at her.  She stopped and stared into one window the face of the pale girl staring right back calmed her just as much as it scared her.  Help me the girl mouthed before she disappeared.
       The Girl needed her help but how was she going to help her?  Chrystelle jumped in her cruiser, her box of Newport's on the dashboard, Pulling out one she light it up.  Damn who could help her? Her mind thought of Ashmiel,  The only person in the world who would believe her.  Heading back to the station she quickly filled out her paperwork and walked out.  Heading home she laughed at herself s she really about to do this.  Running into her house she ran upstairs to the hidden latch door.  Comfort surrounded her immediately from the blessings put on the house from her family, She loved it.  Stepping into the attic the smell of marijuana penetrated her nose with an urge of loneliness, Damn it's been that long.  She grabbed as much as she could and closed the attic doors before the smell could linger out any further.
       She ran down the stairs, grabbing her keys off the counter before heading to her car.  Was she really about to do this.  She was in control right?  She knew that the team already had their testing and wouldn't have another in a few months so she reassured herself and headed to a store. Pulling up she ran in and quickly grabbed a pack of new leaf fronto before running back into her car to go see Ashmiel.  She watched the bright lights of Boston get brighter as she left Quincy.  She missed Boston and all the excitement.  Everybody had somewhere to be and everybody was doing something.  Night seemed to fall quickly.  She stared at his house slowly pulling up, This man presence alone drove her insane, but the only way he'll speak to her is if she is matching up. She wandered to his door and knocked anticipation made her legs quake as she reminded herself what she was here for.
    He answered the door His body glistening with sweat as he had only his boxers on, she rolled her eyes and smiled and he smiled back stepping aside to let her through. The house was just as she remembered, the living room cleaned and spotless as if no one was ever in it.  The kitchen stocked with so much goodies they stacked over the counter and the floor. She wandered to the Master bedroom her feet remembering where to go. His body heat attaching on the her luring her back to him as he was only steps behind as she was sure he was watching her ass. When she sat on the bed she looked to the door way as he looked back to her and said "Let's do this"
(To Be Continued)

My Story : Haunting of Chrystelle (part two)

If you haven't read part one here is the link http://millzworldrip.blogspot.com/2015/06/starting-short-story.html


      Chrystelle stared at the letter, scared to open it.  The world around her frozen just has she was her eyes blank in frustration.  Her fingers trembled upon the edges of the page, as the questions still roam in her head, questions she dare not speak.  Her face turned to horror as she read along with poor girl in what seemed the be her last words on this earth.  Chrystelle's heart went out to her wanting more and more of the answers but having no clue where to get them. 
           
            - I'm going crazy i know it, The images.  These unknown and unwanted feelings They are getting stronger.  I'm hurting on the inside and I don't know why.  I'm scared but no one wants to listen.  They think I'm lying.. Each day in my dream i awake to this thing closer and closer.  What does it want from me???  Why can't it just leave me alone.  If anybody every reads this please help me


                                                                                                               Isabella Gonzalez-



         Chrystelle reread the letter before finally handing it over to forensics to be processed and analyzed.  Fear flood through Chrystelle, goosebumps caused her hair to rise.  Her body told her to run but the pounding in her heart told her to turn around. Chrystelle carefully placed the paper on the sink.  Taking tiny steps as fear and anticipation swelled through her she watched the mirror and stared to the corner of the bathroom.  Chrystelle got angry when she realized the mirror was taped on purpose to block the corners of the room.  Chrystelle rand her finger across the fold and tore it off.  Her eyes narrowed in on the corner of the room again and Chrystelle's heart stopped. 
        The dark figure with a smile that sent chills through her body.  Regret settled when it began to point and laugh at her. Why did she even bother to come in today?  The Creature shifted its body in a disturbing motion, the jerks of its body and joints was unworldly and horrifying.  She watched in the mirror as the dark figure stood behind her and leaned forward, staring deep into her eyes. The figure softly whispered "Because your souls next."  As desperation went through Chrystelles mind the Dark figure screamed at her as she covered her ears. The figure faded away along with her happiness.  She needed help to solve this crime, but how do you tell your team that this girl was murdered by something already dead, With out her Captain calling the BEST team on her. 
       Who is going to help her?
       Who is going to listen?
       And Who will Believe Her?

My Story : Haunting of Chrystelle (Part one)

Hey guys so i know I've been slacking on the blogs lately but things have been quite eventful. a lot has changed in good ways many in bad. but i wanted to hear from my readers how you feel about the blog and about the way i write.. I was thinking about posting a short story but it seems like no one is quite interested.. so as of right now i make this utterly worthless paragraph to Present the My Short story.

(Pictures are just references to what i would like you to be picturing some what)

           Her Imagination runs wild, This can't be happening she thinks to herself.  Time Pushes past her Consuming her, As the ticking fades away into the background almost slowing down to the pounding in her ears from panic.  She Looks up to the Masked Man, His Arms tighten on her neck as he pins her to the bottom of the tub.  Barely submerged she struggled against his strength, She thought to herself what's wrong with this man.  The water began to fill the tub more slightly covering her face.  She reached out her hand and unmasked him in the last few seconds of her life.  Her eyes spread with Horror, Her scream only sending water into her lungs.  Why is this Happening to me? She thought to herself in those final moments.  The last air bubble slips away as she painful slips away.

           Hours pass and the apartment the poor girl roamed, was now surrounded by the police.  The Men and the Woman on the force claim it was suicide But Ms. Chrystelle knew there had to be more.  She walked into the apartment of what seemed to be a happy home.  Walking through her eyes stared into the bathroom, The Ghost of the Girl Staring back into her Eyes. Her hair Black wet and dripping as if she just got out the shower.  Her eyes showing terror and fright.  The Girl looked at her Body the back at Chrystelle before staring into the corner of the bathroom. Her expression alone caused chrystelle to turn around. Only to see a figure in black staring right back at her.  Reaction caused her to wipe out her firearm.  But as she looked the thing was no longer to be found.

         Gasping and jumping back she stared into the face of the girl, icy chills ran up her spine.  something wasn't right.  Confusion settled as the girl pointed straight at her, with out evening moving a muscle Chrystelle heard a scream that could wake the devil.  Goosebumps riddled her body with little to no effort as she realized it came deep from within the girl.  Her eyes pleaded the girl to save her soul but her tears told Chrystelle to run.  But dead people can't kill the living.  Can They?

        The Emt's lift her body from the water, Chyrstelle watches as the girls face is still dripped with pure horror.  Those weren't the eyes of a suicide, The Emt's cover her with a blanket, But allow the people one more look at the dead body.  Chrystelle takes a look into the bathroom, water on the floor suggesting a struggle. Turning to grab gloves, Chrystelle walks up to the bathroom trash bin to see if she found anything new or different that could help the case. Buried Deep into the trash she found the girls letter.




(Ok guys let me know how you like it comment and share please)
 

Who?

who?

Feeling exposed and naked
bright light shinging down that smile
you faked it
they say if you play with fire your gunna get burned

i been burned up, froze up, abandoned and torn up
the pain don't hurt. i'm just reborn through my ashes
like fresh lite matches against
the rough rouged cardboard of my life
ingulfing my soul and happiness into a raging fire
that dims my heart into pitch black emptiness me a single match
put to burn. no more heat comes from this body.
i no longer dance to my hearts drumming rhythm
i've been strung like and old guitar
my music no longer happy but sad.
from the years it has endured.
i onced played music that brought tears to the eyes
of kings and queens. i with history of impurity
and sin
if i am a match that can no longer light, and a guitar
that can no longer strum.
my heart no longer beats to the rhythm of the drums
i am my own ashes i can never be renewed.
my past has tainted my present and sacrificed my future.
i ask who in this world would recreate me from those ashes?
who would light my match?
and who would strum my guitar?

My "Thoughts"

My thoughts

Love is a figmentation
Filled with imagination
Nd discrimination
Filled with Regret
Sensitivity and
Hesitation
Together we can make symphony
Starting with the truth we will have an
Ephypony.
Nd altogether alternative reality.
Running from my heart
I can't take his pain
My soul is falling apart
And its taking my brain
I'm nearly insane..
No nearly deranged
I'm running.
Running faster then the breeze.
You can't see me
Even in still motion.
This is my curse
From drinking the love potion
Relaxed
From the sex and drugs
When I got that I feel non
Of the above...
Ashamed
'Cause I know how to play the game..
Fuck it
Imma do it
Ima tear it up nd shove that knife right through it
I give up on love
I give up on me
I give up on everything that WAS or what WAS going to be.
Sitting chilling now
Just. Doing. Me.

The "Last" Words

Last Words

stupid voice in my head
repeating what ive already said
chest caving in. crushing
whats left withen
i never want to feel this way again
when/where/why won't it end
music only pushing it further.
together they're combining and getting closer.
breathe caught
no air coming in
yet nones escaping
where do i begin?
where do i end?
back to my old tricks again
fuck love
and fuck you
fuck everyone whose
screwde me over too
my life's already fucked uhp
no one said it needs your help...
words scrambling in my brain.
each wanting to be said
each being held back
choking on my words
choking on my thoughts
trying to forget tha past
and noticing my future is lost
i find it kinda funny
i find it kinda sad
tha dreams in which im dying are tha best ive ever had
but do you care? you claim it.
you "try" and show it! yet beat me w. it
no more consideration
no more held back words
at tha point of ultimate destructionyet nothing seems to help
wanting to stop my feelings
yet w, it theres healing
but
i dont know where im heading
i want to run until im out of breathe
and keep running until there
is no memory of boston left.
i want happiness
but negativity is whats present
sticking w. tha good habits
and trying to
push the old
i honestly dont
know what to do anymore
praying to god
a man i dont believe in
to forgive me?
me?!
to help me heal
help me see
help me forget
help me breathe
stop me from giving up on destiny
want to know what he said to me?
absolutely nothing
damn everybody juss got to push my fucking buttons
i've been through worse
ive seen worse
but it still hurts
yea im use to it
but it still hurts
yea i heard it before
but it still hurts
now im sitting outside
of class
making me look more like a dumbass
damn yu controling me that much
bet your happy living life
probably eating lunch
this paper is wasting quick
tha lead is ending to
to think all this bullshit is over yu?!
you broke tha camels back
but it was i who knew
i regret you
you were a mistake
but that aint nothing new
sad part is i still love you

Today's A Better Day

     Today's a better day.  I woke up with a smile on my face.  I was able to say that I was happy.  A few Months ago, I went through what few know but many learned about.  I "Thought" I was going to break, That no one could ever love me like that but My Boyfriend/Best Friend proved me wrong.  He dried every tear and still was able to show me his.  He carried me on his most weakest days even when I threw stones in the dirt "Fucking" up his path with my insecurites and jealousy he still carried me.  I lost someone and within my weakest moments He rescued me.  I'm happy that months later he is still by my side holding my hand in times of struggles.  He is my strength but I am his muscles.  I learned the hard way that we just work better together.  I love getting spoiled, I love being cuddled, I love that I have a man willing to wade on me Hand and foot at any given moment of any day.  But most importantly I love that he loves me for me!  Despite my flaws.

      Today's a better day.  I got to see the sun again.  I got to wake up and hear the birds chirp the busy streets the sound of soft humming and of course a morning spliff.  But I got to look up into eyes that will never look down at me.  Who seems me being short as just an height not a disadvantage.  I was warm in a house that was 45 degrees cause it was to hot to turn on the heat.  And last night when I couldn't sleep i had the softest heartbeat to listen to.  I love my man for being just that a man.  I could've been worse off, living in  a dirty house a man who don't even know how to wipe himself let alone afford his habit. Or stuck running back in forth with people who treat me like shit because someone how they fix it and make me feel better. Or with someone who abuses me mental emotional or physically my point IS! I could do far worse and I believe and know my man is the BEST by far.

         So for those of you who don't know and still haven't got it, Today's a better day. I was reminded of my worth, THAT i never forgot. I was reminded I was beautiful, for having not looked in the mirror in so long. I was reminded I look good Big Fat Skinny Tall Short, BECAUSE someone how society made me forget that. Today's a better day because I was reminded Why BONNIE, needed Clyde. Why Harley Quinn needs Joker why Eve needs Adam. But today's a really good day because I was also reminded why Obama needs Michelle, Why Jay-Z needs Beyonce and why in a game a chess the Queen always Protects the King. The King supports his queen so that she in turn may protect him. That's why today's a better day because to me My king was the one who taught love to me....

P.s (For my bbyboy 12/20/14 I love you)

In my HIGH!!

     I'm Smokin my life away but what is it really for?
   the satisfaction or the pain?
   For the relief or the gain?
      I roll the blunt and stare at it.
   Should i do it light it up? Spark it?
   Should i satisfy my hunger, my addiction?
   What am i left without it?
      Am i tricking myself to believe that with it?!
    I'm invincble, that all my wounds will heal?
    That i'll forget what he did?
    And What she said?
      That im in a better place up high,
    floating around until i land on cloud 9.
    Or should i look on the brighter side,
    The lighter side.
      Smoking is my pass time.
   That passes time, in my mind.
   That triggers the bullets that makes my memories hide.
      Hitting tha blunt, until my frown is turned upside down
   While I'm stuck smiling like a clown,
    smiling to unknown happiness
    Satisfying isnt it?
     Until you look around in silence,
   feeling misguided
   So i put tha headphones in and blast tha sound.
   Every beat and lyric runs throught tha blunt as i inhale it down
      But it isnt enough,
   the silence closes in
   so i continue to search for my high,
   until tha only thing i hear is my heart racing to the spead of sound.
     My ear drums pumping to tha same flow as i slowly begin to drown.
    I move my lips
   To explain
   I love this shit i say
   Excuse me, What did i juss say
      I love this shit. The escape.
    The reality change. im happier. Wait no im happy again
    Smoking dont hurt me its my friend. My conscious yells
    No stop you dont understand nothing Heals, nothing mends
   All your doing is feeling the hurt again.
   Reliving the memory soberly
   Your living your life poorly .my conscious says to me
     But not me? Not I
    Will give up my high
    To much pride
       That me? That I! am a coward and choose to hide in my high
    To low to rancid to impure
    To admit that me. YES I?
    Am to ashamed of my insecurites to admit that me yes I.
   Am nothing.
   But still I roll another blunt and suffocate my pain/my sorrow/my dreams in my high

Talking With GOD.

 Talking to god is the hardest/easiest thing to do. (Just wait) When you are talking God picturing it as another form of venting.  Do not look at it as if he is Imaginary, or if he isn't there, Because he is HERE and ALWAYS will be.  Repeat this to yourself "You Don't see Oxygen but you believe you can breathe." God works in mysterious ways, when you were stress and worrying over a bill, With NO WAY to pay for it, If by the end of the month you found a way to get it done that was GOD.  If you crying constantly because you were hopeless, That voice in your head telling you it will be ok, to GET up that's GOD. When you sitting down thinking negative those goosebumps that form on your skin is God.
   God is so good at being Discrete Right now he is using ME to get you to LISTEN.  Everything even the BAD is all in his plan.  You would never know PEACE until you have seen WAR.  Listen to what each tragedy teaches you.  I wouldn't have know that laughing at people pain isn't inappropriate until it happened to me.  I wouldn't have know the dangers of "Following the snake, and biting the Forbidden Fruit.  The truth of the matter is I learned from my pain.  But when do you know if its GOD or if its the DEVIL. well let me put it even more simply.
  The Devil Distracts you. GOD Leads. The Devil Pushes you. GOD Pulls. The Devil Mocks you, God Encourages You. The Devil tells you What to do, While god Knows the only TRUE way for you to learn is for you to Go through and LEARN it yourself. God is not nor will he ever be a negative force. God WILL NOT leave you Hungry. HE will NOT lead you down the wrong Path and He will never LET YOU DOWN. just remember that talking to GOD is like talking to me. Take Your time He WILL Listen just give him a second to respond. You ain't the only one in the world you know ;) God bless and Rest easy.

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Just Don't Forget Me

   Everyone has a common fear on being forgotten, Left behind, Token for granted etc.  I looked at myself in the mirror today and asked myself why I put up with the shit I do.  I said because if I don't they will just leave.  But why am I worried about them? why am I constantly arguing and fighting with who wouldn't blink twice if I was alive or dead?  These people are not in my circle they aren't helping me, and they sure as hell ain't making anything any better.  I was hurt I was confused all I wanted was for someone to love me for ME.  If I didn't have enough money, if I didn't come with a gurantee, Half the time if I don't have weed, No one wants to see me.  So what's the point?  why am I trying constantly to be approved by someone who wouldn't even be approved by me.
   So I asked myself again So why do you put up with it?  Because I don't want to end up alone. I don't want to be that girl in the room taking every single shot and blunt I make, just to ignore the fact that I'm all alone.  So why try and make someone happy who will eventually leave me, No amount of money or gifts can make ANYONE stay, so what am I really spending and wasting time and ENERGY on?  For someone who claims "They loyal to me" for someone who claims "They my ride or die."?  Where were they when I got Jumped by 3 n*ggas? They wasn't there not even my family rode out for me.  Or that time I went to the hospital for a week?  Where were they when I needed a shoulder to cry on because the only man to ever make me feel that he really loved ME, had just passed away... N*ggas didn't come through for me.  N*ggas didn't call my phone and say I'm coming through just wait for me. I had to have CIGARETTES, MONEY, or WEED. 
   What type of homies are that?  So I really sat back and took a good look at myself and I said you know your TOO beautiful, your TOO strong, Your amazing.  You deserve so much better then that you know that.. I looked away from myself for a second and softly and said I know.  When I looked back at myself and said.  When your ready for real LOVE, come find me until then Just Don't Forget Me.

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Acceptance

       For those of you who read my blog understand the route this is going to take, and for those who haven't just sit back this is going to be a good one.  When it comes to acceptance it can take many shapes and forms.  For example: Accepting the loss of a person, accepting the loss of a job, Accepting that the person you love doesn't love you back.  The list can go on, but as I look into past I seen that all  I was missing was acceptance. I searched for acceptance from my parents, I craved acceptance from the people I dated.  I yearned for acceptance academically, and failed and finding acceptance within MYSELF.
        Never let ANYONE make you feel as if you need their approval.  Like I said a million times before YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF.  When you love yourself, you WILL know what love is suppose to FEEL like.  I looked around myself constant times not knowing that I was suppose to love myself. I was suppose to acceptance that I didn't wear the right clothes.  I had to accept that I wasn't the right size that I wasn't always going to be cute enough or good enough, Simply because I wasn't made that way.  I wasn't made To be everybody's favorite person, go to girl or GIRLFRIEND.  I was made for someone who was made for me.  It takes time to find the person that was made for you because you haven't grown into your full potential yet.  You search and beg for acceptance yet you still don't find it because the confidence isn't there.
      Have you ever looked in the mirror and said, Damn I look good today. Have you ever went out and just did you because you was having a good time out, without seeing if eyes were on you?  Have you ever sat back and looked at your Past and said Damn I wish someone showed me love, well DoDo you was the one who should've have been loving you.  Don't settle for less just because you need love, you need attention, you need ACCEPTANCE. you are and always will be IMPORTANT, SPECIAL, and BEAUTIFUL.  You where created to be. You was Born That Way.

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Naughty Neighbors

     
   She looked at herself in the mirror. The outline of her Shape Against the wall from the flickering flame of the light was nothing compared to the real thing. She watched her Golden Brown skin as she pour her Milk and Honey body wash. The hot water had steam rising off the top like an amazing Mist. Getting into the tub she thought about her neighbor. His body always had a way of catching her off guard specially his night time work outs. She had the perfect view from the second bathroom and she was always in it. As she bathe she ran the water through her hair loving the feel of hot water warming her skin. As she stood to run the soap over her body something caught her eye in her Mirror.
    Turning around there he was, Her neighbor His draw dropped and his eyes wide. "I... um I'm sorry The uh... I'll just go." She thought about it and said "Stop." He turned towards her naked body and adverted his eyes slightly. "yes" he said he voice slightly shaking. Am I really about to do this she thought. 'Please don't go" She said in a soft whisper her voice barely making a sound. He looked at her this time, His eyes looking into hers. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She Nodded Yes, Not even entirely convinced herself. He closed the door and stepped inside. locking them both inside he unbuckled his pants. causing his pants to drop to his ankles and his pulled his D*ck out and stroked it. Grabbing his belt and wrapped them around her hands tying the other end to the Rod.
   She Gasped as he lifted her waist causing her to hang the rod and be suspended in the air. Her body still wet from the water slipped into his fingers as he worked his way inside of her. She wanted to push her hips against him, but all she could was take every inch he gave her has she shook and shivered on him. she wanted more and more from him, she begged and he gave in. Her eyes began to roll back the closer she got to a climax. She twitched trying to move her hips, and her pounded faster. before she knew it she was coming on him, Her screams and moans filling the night air and sky as he held her close Pounding Hard and slow. He laughed and said "wake up wake up wake up wake up".
  .......... She hears a bang at the bathroom window making her jump up from the tub, water almost over flowing and bubbles all over her nose. Her neighbor sat their looking into the bathroom relieved to see she woke up to his banging, "Hey you ok you fell asleep in the tub gave me a scare there". She smiled as she rubbed her eyes and said "Thank you I'm ok." she smiled thinking back to the dream before looking back at him. "Thank you very much". He laughed and winked as he put his belt on saying "Thank you too love."

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Obstacles

Love, Depression, Self Worth/Loath

   These are a few of the Many obstacles we face, Not just we Has woman but as A people as well, But Ladies first Gentleman. Woman Push themselves into a "Depression" (Follow me). We Stress About what we wear how good we look, if we wore the right color, The right Clothes, We worry about other women around our men. We worry about what we will eat, when we will eat. how much money goes where and who those what. We worry so much we over stress our system causing our brain To trigger our Anxiety. An when Anxiety begins to consume you, it Chips away piece by piece until you are nothing left but Black Emptiness, and when your empty you don't see a smile on your face you see a grimace. Not matter how many tons of make up you have on, if your in a designer dress, Not no one not even A blunt or some liquor will make you feel any different. We were made from the rib of Adam, "Not from the feet to be stepped on, Not From the head To rule over the man but from his side to be his EQUAL. Near the heart to be loved, and under the arm to always be held. Remember that. You are special.
      As to the Men, Just because it shines doesn't mean its a diamond. Diamonds are made from coal REMEMBER THAT. All roses HAVE thorns, But not all Flowers, Get it or do I have to keep going
? STOP chasing that Fat A**, Stop Looking for the prettiest bitch in the room, because at the end of the day when your D*ck stop working what's a pair of Titties and A** going to do for you? Stop acting like you hard, Because sorry to tell you that's an emotion too. Listen to your heart and your mind for once, put your D*ck away it will do good for you. Eve was created to Be Adams Companion, Do "Ride or Die" for him, If your girl is only riding and dying for your money we got a problem. Love Doesn't HURT and it never feels wrong That goes both ways Remember That.

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Take Me To Church

Me: Bless me Father for I have Sinned
Father: What is that brings you to confession today?
Me: Well its a long story Father
Father: Speak We Have Time
Me: Okay!

     Bless me father for  I have sinned
Listening to the Demons that I have within uh.
  Just sit back while I spit my rhyme
The fastest we get to do this fits better with
                    The Time.

   I bite The fruit from the forbidden tree
         Hate and Destruction is all I see
  I Look back at the Future
     Got to keep running cause I know its
    coming sooner And
  
  I'm confused On what's next for me
    Messing with a force called
  Destiny.
 is this really what's left?
I know I'm denying god
 By questioning Death.

Father please bless Me for I have sin

Father: My child There is no hope for you there is
no Good left within.

And To The Men/Boys

 Dear Men/Boys,
      Because I couldn't leave it just at the ladies, Why do you feel the need to "Step out?" Why not settling down with a girl who excepts the situation as it is, Rather damaging the hearts and Pride of the ones who Don't? Ask yourself this, When and if you have a Daughter would you laugh when she is crying because the same thing you did to your ex woman has happened to her? Will you Dap up the boy who convinced your daughter that he loves her just to get the one thing you vowed to Protect the day she was born? DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE. you have to understand that you reflect that image to the younger Generation as well. you contribute to their mind their wisdom, and their Intellect. You can not abandon your Duties, it is a MANS job to guide and LEAD.
    Boys why do you believe its exceptable to do what you do? Why is it ok for you to job to one girl to the next not bothered by the hearts you destroyed along your path? Is t because your Brother Father Street Crew, Hood N*GGAS so it? if Yes then WHY THE F*CK YOU BEING A FOLLOWER FOR??? stand up and make that change for yourself, Don't stoop to others standards just to be accepted break the cycle be different!!!!! Men/Boys you are also worth way more then that. There will come a day where you find that one girl you would settle down with, But you f*cked it all up cause she only see's your past in you. How you going to advice the woman around you to leave their men when there is no difference between the two of you. Men/Boys I have a challenge for you every day look yourself in the mirror and remember this, Would you be smiling if your Daughter/Mother/Sister/Aunt/Niece Etc was dating someone like you; Would you be smiling.
    As for the Trifling Disrespecting a**  I don't Give F*ck type ignorant dudes, GROW THE F*CK UP. stop acting like the world revolves around your dick because it don't. You are mimiscule compared to the world around you. you stomp on broken woman to make yourself feel like a man or simply because you are not man enough in some places ;).... Let the girl be loved by someone who is going to love HER. If you need a support system (financially) move back in with your moms, Or get your a** up and get a JOB!!!!

*Thanks for reading... remember to email me Ideas
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To The Ladies On the Side......

   Listen up Ladies...
         Yes you , you Know who you are.. Those girls who are proud to preach YEAAAHH i slept with that bitch Man annnnnnd!!!! That stupid shit. Those Girls who see themselves so low they even stay loyal to another girls man. Now this original Is suppose to be a Diss Piece but let me Preach to yall ladies for a second. By under NO MEANS should you ever be Proud to say Or do any of those things. "Being A side Chick" Is not nor will it ever be Cute. Now Real Man will Let you be at the Side Nor will he Have a side. A Man that Truly Loves you will Put you FIRST above everything and any B*TCH. IF the LOVE DONT feel RIGHT it isn't. You were Made In ways that Even science Have yet to Know. Your Beauty goes beyond Physical Remember that it something so Priceless That even The Prettiest Of B*tches will ENVY you,
             Now a man understands the value of LOYALTY and the value or RESPECT. When a man who loves you truly loves you he will not see your flaws he will see beauty. you have to remember I'm saying MAN. A little Boy would have got pissed off and clicked out of this blog just because its the truth. I used to think that maybe the guy I always wanted would never want me. I thought I was too "Fat" (Some People called Me). Or I thought I wasn't pretty enough. Until One day someone showed me different, He showed me that I should be loved besides my Size, My Height, My Curves, My Hair, The list can go on but the point is that When a man Loves you. You WILL never be second place in his heart or in his Mind.
             But to touch on those trifling h*es the one who purposely go after the boys who got girls because they know they are able to, CUT THAT SH*T OUT. you were and if not WILL be in the same situation but DOGS WILL BE DOGS. its up to you has woman to control the cookie, and  if TREY SONGZ fine a** still single there IS another fine A** dude out there sitting out there PROBABLY looking for you, but you acting so immature and CHILDISH. Don't act DUMB p*ssy is P*SSY. YOU are at the SIDE. if he didn't leave his girl before he started fucking with you chances  are he isn't. This boy you looked for (Who STILL got a girl and you KNOW) Is not thinking of you. He throws out "I love you", to make you SHUT UP and F*CK him. He says "I'll leave Her". To make you SHUT UP and F*CK him. This boy does not care about you especially if he got a main. he came to hit it and bounce, go straight to his Mains crib and do what he got to do. Most likely spending the money you gave him on her. Stop playing Dumb, Stop playing the Victim and Stop being Trifling. Your worth more then that.
           I'm going to end this blog on that note because this a topic that could go on for hours, A lot of days girls don't value their self worth, And in the end the results follow with another generation growing up with disrespectful views of Woman, Negative Views on woman, and Even teaching our girls that this behavior is ok. We have to STOP THE CYCLE, we cant let these views enter our children's Minds or infiltrate their thoughts. its stop like this that caused bitter battles between the Men and woman of our nation Simply because a man couldn't keep it in his pants, and his Mistress Just couldn't say no.

 *Thanks for reading and remember Email me topics
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I don't Bite*

My Comng Out Story

     My coming out story is almost typical,  was 13 was about to enter 7th grade and it was like almost everybody knew. I didn't like tight clothes, I HATE the color pink, i'd rather play football with the boys then go shopping with the girls. To me I always thought I liked girls. I was afraid to tell my mother because she was and in some ways still is Highly Homophobic. I didn't want to talk with anybody in my school because no one would understand, and I didn't want to walk around with a Staff buddy to prevent me from "acting out" my tendencies. I thought to myself Maybe its a phase like everything else, Maybe this was part of me Growing up. I can still think back to my first Crush Alana. I didn't know why I liked the way her hair would slightly frizz when it got near heat. I didn't understand why when she smiled my heart skipped 1 million beats. But most of all I Didn't understand me.
       I grew up always aiming to please the adults around me, and I knew what liking a girl would do to me and my mothers already estranged relationship. All I could do was look at the girls I liked and not say a word when they asked "So who do you have a crush on." It took me about 1 and 1/2 years after meeting Alana , to finally except my "Situation". it was a school field trip to Six flags and every one went. Every Boy Every girl I knew, All in one Crowded but A/C bus.  Most kids sat with their friends their boy/girlfriends or by themselves. a girl who had recently came to my school named Diana asked me, "Do you have a boyfriend?" to which every boy laughed and shouted "Hell no Not Ampablo!!!!" My face turned  red and I pushed myself harder into the bus window begging and hoping she would look away and leave me alone. BUT she continued "Do you have a girl." I felt as if I was in a movie because the silence was eerie. almost as if the bus Driver also wanted to hear me.
      I looked around My bus and seen all the kids eyes on my and embarrassment was all that was on my face as I shook my head no. The girl looked at me calmly said "Why not." The question rang in my head like a bell. The questioned left me stunned, the bus rode in silence. When we all had our fun and it was time to go we piled back into the bus this time sitting beside me is Alana and on the other Diana, and of course the squad of jock monkeys. Alanas head was buried in a book, her hair over shoulder and  was watching her secretly. Diana  turned to me and said  "do you like boys or girls?" Alana looked up as did the rest of the bus again all eyes and ears on me. I shrugged my shoulders. because I honestly didn't know. I knew I liked boys because well... I didn't know at the time I had a crush on ne-yo and sean paul but that could just be "Girl" stuff right? I didn't know I liked girls I just knew I found some so beautiful. All the attention that was on me began to die down before one of the monkeys shouted "Good no boy would've dated you anyway".
      Embarrassed I look down and try to ignore the laughter before I hear a boy and a familiar voice saying "I would". I looked up to the Most popular boy in the 8th Grade and Alana standing there. They both Smiled and me and sat close to me and we all talked the whole ride back to boston. it was the first time I felt at peace with myself because I was honest. I didn't know if I liked Girls, I just know I did. I didn't know I liked boys I just knew I did. I feared people would judge because of my preference when in all reality It was me that was truly Judging myself. I gained two Best Friends and a girlfriend....

*Thanks for readin comment your coming out story ... keep reading follow me Email me Idead.. Thanks to my New Prima Emily love you boo for the topic.*

Sick & Tired

     Have you ever sat back and realized your tired of the situations happening around you? Your tired of waking up to another argument, Your tired of people pushing you and breaking you in was that your mind becomes sick with madness. You try and try to constantly fit their image of perfection when you where made perfectly.  There is a constant battle within yourself because you refuse to listen. and even has the tears still roll down your face, and you think its going to be different it all remains the same.
  Your love for this person becomes a problem when you refuse to look in the mirror and LOVE yourself because you are to be busy, Loving someone not even worth a percentage of you. Your Love for this person becomes a problem, when you push away the people you love because they tell you to leave. remember Blood will always be thicker then water but both can be tainted. You must first LOVE yourself so that when love true love passes you by, you will know the difference.
    The heart wants what it wants that is true, what you might think is love could just be that every weekend he/she gets you shoes. Your speaks but very simply, You might just have a "love" for how they treat you, and how they speak to you. love is very blind in ways deeper then we understand, your heart KNOWS take your time to listen, do not stay somewhere, where you are not happy just because of the terms and conditions. Love yourself and then you'll be able to love someone else... its simple.

*Shout out to my big Sis Carmen for the Idea... and thanks to my readers.... Email me topics at Juliana4lyfe@gmail.com or Comment!!!*

Dear Mr. Steve Wilkos

 Dear Steve,
       This blog is for you, today as I watched the Steve W. Show that you Mr. Wilkos have Changed A lot. Don't get me wrong in some ways it was better for you to be the brutally honest opinionated Host, (Also my opinion) But in others its better for you to be the way you are now. I can honestly admit to skipping over your shows in the morning, Simply because you were so judgmental a lot of the times to innocent people. To me it Just wasn't fair that being the Host it was ok and almost expected of you to do that. I Do not want to force my opinion on you neither, But if there ever comes a Day where you had pasted this blog I hope you took the time to read it.
      I would Much prefer to see a combination of the old Steve Meets New Steve. The connection alone of the two different "Personalities" (New/Old Steve) Will create the most unique of devils advocates in my eyes. I also believe a liar tells the truth when you are TO calm and when you Change the formation of your questions but repeat them often. A lot of ways I Judged people on your show and found innocence in them after the Lie detector test. I feel As if the change you present now is from the experience of that alone and I'm Proud to call you a Good ROLE MODEL. You showed that TIME and EXPERIENCE are what Truly Change people. You showed that with DEDICTION you can achieve your dreams, You can learn to Fix what others call "Bad Habits" And You can learn to Understand and LEARN from others mistakes and pains to prevent your own.
     A lot of the times I expect you to explode or like before when you felt they were undeserving to sit on your stage tell to get up and toss or throw the Chair. (Maybe Mrs. Wilkos Changed it) But lately you nearly ask Politely and I found more Respect in that. I always seen tv host as devils Advocates, Meaning You play for Both Sides, When they say Ney you say what if its yes, at all times. When they say Yes you look and say why no at all times. Picture what I'm suggesting (people follow me). When you go to the Debate you have TWO teams, And one "Devils Advocate". The Teams Debate and when they call on D.A He simply provides and opinion on both the sides, That Push them to Think Harder On why theirs is correct and also Solving the Debate within themselves, Pressuring hem to reveal more knowledge they Previously thought they didn't have (Get it.). All I'm Saying Mr. Wilkos Who ever told you to Change wither it be the Producers/Tv Company/Mrs. Wilkos, You didn't have to do the whole 360 in my Opinion a 180 would have been Perfect.
    I hope that one day eventually you get to read this and think about what I have said. I have new found Respect for you Steve. Haha I still remember watching you on Jerry Springer. (A lot of people in this world still don't know that so sad) But thanks for reading wither it be you or my Daily Readers .


*Write you later people thanks to Tianna (Name changed as asked by receiver) for Emailing me the Idea .... Comment or Email me Juliana4lyfe@gmail.com Ideas*

You can lead a horse to water...

      I know y'all heard it the same line over and over again. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. Now many people don't understand the meaning of this, even I still have a hard time understanding but I'll explain the best I can. If you ever been in a situation where someone you love or care about are dealing with PEOPLE, or THINGS, you honestly and truly believe they shouldn't; But even with the whole world showing them exactly what your seeing you cant make them leave. Don't get me wrong everyone grows and learns at their own pace, but for those of us who see beyond the future; the idiocy that  come from the situation itself annoy you in ways that make you want to smack the FU*K out of them. But you Don't because you doubt they'll see it even after that. But you honestly have to realize my darlings, the HEART wants what it wants. Simple as that. Do NOT deny That you have been in their feet. Everyone and their momma telling you not to be with him/her. so you realize that But you has their friend, Just stand at the side and watch and help when you can.
    Think about it carefully before you approach your friend/family about situations like these, love is blind. A lot of the times they do not realize they are in the situation the are in because they are in love with the other person, or in love with the situation (More Description in Deception Blog) You can not force yourself to see someone else's judgment, and you can not force your opinion on them. The world works in ways that are very unknown. The very same thing you may get on someone's nerves for, that you have no idea why you are, may very well be the same thing that gets on your nerves abut them in this very moment. take a second to realize your surroundings because those are the strongest forces around you. Don't forget the people who loved you before and after relationships, Because they  were there first simple as that.
   So  start to end this blog I want to end on a note that in ways this blog is my escape to the exact same things I mention in this Blog. I'm not proud to admit it, but neither am I Ashamed of it. I understand the ramifications of being with someone that always make excuses for. you shouldn't have to excuse anyone for who and what they are doing remember that and love will always come to you blessed believe me...
 *Thanks to my regular readers Don't be afraid to comment your opinions Please speak your Mind... and if anyone has any topics the want me to write about just comment*

Its A new day

     It's a new day and everything is different. The guy that I thought loved me and I was in love w. As changed in ways that I find intolerable. I was damn near homeless but my favorite Unk in the world came and rescued me.  Now I got my one bedroom soon to have everything laid out and set. I'm not happy but I'm living anyone got topics they would like me to talk about

Deception+hurt=HeartBreak

       Every ones been there, and don't count out the men. The first love the committed trust that you place within them. All your secrets and tears your dreams and hopes on your future with who you consider the "one". for them to start with the lies. they tell you i'm coming yet never show something your not used to. then they start to accuse you or act different towards you, some might have experienced degrading remarks from the man or woman they love. Every single inch of your body and mind tells you to leave and run or that they are running around you. but you constantly make that excuse for them in hopes that the lies you tell yourself you will believe. you pressure and pressure yourself to believe in a love that was never there because in all reality it was the thrill of the ride they were into. the thought and taste of flesh and purity that came from your skin is something they couldn't really do with out. But at the same time their running tired of the bullshit they were facing was nothing but the usual. They were used to (men/woman) you. Not you but the same (woman/men) people like you that fell for the same tricks and smiles to lure you in until your hooked. i'm not saying every ones the same but they done it before.
     The tricks about situations like this is that you've become addicted to the fake love. You become victim to a never ending cycle of remaining the victim, or turning into an attacker for you become addicted not to the person and the way they are themselves No, you become addicted to feeling of a relief of heart break. The relief that they still love you and always had and that they would make your dream come true. While every one around you pulls their hair out heading to the dollar store to buy you ass some cheap ass paper towels, to help your ass dry your tears, for you to return. it isn't until your able to see your situation through someone else's eyes for you to realize that in fact your heart has been broken and remains broken do to the fact your looking for love in the wrong places... for you to really know what love feels like you must  first love yourself it was a lesson I had to learn and everyone must go through..

I Miss beng 13

   Yes I know sounds crazy right? how could any one in their right mind miss that? but you miss understand me. I was the average middle class kid, I always managed to buy something from the store (money obviously from my parents) my room was always clean (obviously from my parents). Had the coolest toys (also my parents) food Made, Clothes washed, Clothes bought they all caqme from my parents. But at 13 I didn't see that. I didn't see that I had a free lace to live shit and eat. I didn't see that n had a personal maid clock and teddy bear. most importantly I didn't see I had th best two best friends a child could ask for.
   what I seen at 13 was two over bearing adults constantly nagging at me, telling me what to do, not letting me wear what I want when I want and didn't let me go hang out with friends. at 13  was fearless I thought nothing could happen to me and I wanted to be OUTSIDE. I wanted a boyfriend a cellphone and wanted to stay nights with my bestie Sandra. My Mother wasn't haven't that.she couldn't tell me but back in 2008 to 2009 boston wasn't safe. everyday on the news there was kids falling off roofs to getting stabbed. there was on day on my school bus we were told to face the left because the was a brutal stabbing of a teen on Washington st and erie st. There was another time my school got into lockdown because and eight grader of ours named Steven Odom was shot outside the building. there even was another little girl who was accidentally shot by a stray bullet which has bound  a wheel chair for life asking the suspect just for an apology. but I didn't see that because I wasn't allowed to see it.
    my other best friend was my sister, I mean she was the only one I cold hang out with, im thankful for that everyday. I think maybe if I was given a reason as to why I wasn't allowed to do some much I would've listened instead of wanting to rebel. But now that I'm much older I can look back and understand why. losing someone your close to alone is the biggest pain and hardest thing to go through. even animals suffer so imagine the loss of your child. My parents weren't restricting me the were saving my youth. they didn't want their baby to grow up and I can finally say I understand that now. if I can go back to a time were I was careless I had to say, that I miss being 13.

{Comment the ae you miss or wish you could be if you'd like :) }